theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
