I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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