peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize