dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
