Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
