last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Someone signed my nipple.
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