so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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