Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He did a backflip because drugs
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
