Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Randomize
