i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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