that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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