i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think your dad took our porno
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
