Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
