it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
ok first of all what the fuck
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
