Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
How external is "for external use only"?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
