today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
