you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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