I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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