Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
