spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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