I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
