I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
