so that wasnt chicken after all
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
