hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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