YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
