Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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