While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
