so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
