Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I checked into jail on foursquare
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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