In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
