is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
