are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Terrible idea I love it
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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