Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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