Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
