break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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