"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
