She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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