just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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