All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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