Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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