Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
never play flip cup with pint glasses
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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