Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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