I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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