I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
