ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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