what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize