I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
