her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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