Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
