My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
