You smell like a Billy Joel song
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
