Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
