there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
