I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
