Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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