Me too!
im six kinds of drunk right now
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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