im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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