Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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