The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She's the barista slut.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
