remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
