i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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