At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
