well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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