I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
